GOOFS, GAFFES AND BLUNDERS – WHAT NOT TO INCLUDE IN YOUR RESUME

We all think we know how important our resume is, but with more than 30,000,000 of the things out there in circulation every month in the US alone, getting it right is more important than ever.

Recruiters are busy people. Faced with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of resumes to consider for each vacancy, their first few sifts need to be quick and effective to get them down to a manageable number. Estimates as to how long it takes a recruiter to decide whether yours is a ‘hit’ or a ‘miss’, vary from around 15 seconds at the generous end, to 3 at the harsher end.

So, what is guaranteed to make your resume stand out for all the wrong reasons? Here are some of the things to avoid, from the ill-advised to the downright bizarre (and thanks to Fortune Magazine, Careerbuilder.com and Resumania’s Archive for the howlers):

• Poor presentation
If a resume turns up looking dog-eared and covered in coffee stains, what does this tell the prospective employer about the candidate? Make sure yours represents who you are.

• Incorrect or no contact information
Duh!

• Spelling mistakes, typos, bad grammar and poor syntax
For the sake of running Spell Check and proofreading your resume a couple of times, it is really worth selling yourself to a prospective employer as seemingly illiterate? Telling a recruiter that you were ‘instrumental in ruining the entire operation for a Midwest chain store’, or that you ‘received a plague for Salesperson of the Year’, are pretty much deal breakers. ‘Running’ the operation and ‘receiving a plaque’, however, might well have been seen as pluses!

• Fancy stationery, images and other gimmicks
Keep the Care Bears notepaper, the smiley face icons and the lipstick marks on the envelopes for your personal correspondence. It does not matter how many times your resume reiterates how responsible you are, the use of gimmicks like these will ensure that the recruiter will not even get as far as reading it anyway – and even if he did, he would not believe you.

• Unprofessional e-mail addresses
Again, what you get up to in your private life is your own concern, but do not expect an employer to take you seriously if you provide him with an e-mail address such as ‘hotsexyblonde@xxx.com’ or ‘marijuanaguy@xxx.com’.

• Anything which might be construed as a bribe
I am not even going to go into this. Just don’t!

• Irrelevant personal information
Your resume is a career marketing tool, the purpose of which is to get you an interview. It is not a record of your life story and should not include your medical history, the number of children you have or your wife’s/husband’s/dog’s name. Like your age and your ethnicity, these details are completely irrelevant in terms of your suitability as a candidate and, if anything, could potentially invite unwanted, not to mention unlawful, discrimination.

• Photographs
As with the personal information above, your physical appearance is not in the least bit pertinent to your application, so leave it out. The only exception to this is if you are applying for a job in the performing arts. In this case, appearance may matter, but even so the photograph should not be sent with the resume unless the employer specifically states otherwise.

• Hobbies, pastimes and interests
Unless these bear direct relevance to the position for which you are applying, leave them out. This is especially important if you happen to be into bungee jumping, extreme ironing or something equally as risky.

• Negative or unflattering information
You would not (I hope) go on a first date and spend the entire evening regaling the woman or man of your dreams with stories about how unreliable/unfaithful/untidy* (*delete as appropriate) you were – at least not if you wanted a second date – so why bare your soul in a resume and ruin your chances of getting an interview? Your resume is your number one marketing tool and should do its utmost to sell your skills, experience and education in a way that matches the employer’s needs. Telling a recruiter that ‘it’s best for employers that I not work with people’ or that ‘any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare’ is not exactly the best way to impress. There is a time and a place for confessions and, in all honesty, most should be left for your party games with your friends.

• Focusing on what you did rather than how you did it
Prospective employers are not interested in reading a detailed list of your tasks and responsibilities. All they really want to know is ‘what are you going to do for me?’ The way to get that across is by telling them about your achievements, and by being specific about them.

• Employment gaps
There are perfectly legitimate ways to avoid these being obvious on your resume, such as by choosing the functional resume format which concentrates on your skills and accomplishments, rather than your work history. If you really cannot avoid them showing, at least do not be tempted to explain away a three-month absence by saying that you were getting over the death of your cat, as one candidate did.

• References
The simple rule is, never offer references, and even if the employer asks for them along with your resume, just put a note to say ‘References available upon request’ or something of that ilk. If the employer really does need them at a later stage, make sure you think carefully about who to ask, and make sure that you know up front what they intend saying about you. The job offer stage is not the time to be finding out that you were not particularly well thought of by your previous boss! Whatever you do, avoid at all costs statements such as, ‘Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference’.

• Boasting and exaggeration
Of course your resume needs to show you as a confident and capable employee, but any suggestion of bragging or arrogance will do nothing but get an employer’s back up. Set out your skills and achievements by all means, but be prepared to back them up with hard evidence. Claims such as, ‘You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time’ really do not help to further your cause.

Okay, I said there was a time and a place for confessions, so let’s hear yours? Have you ever fallen foul of a resume blunder? Or can you think of a whole new category of gaffes that hasn’t been covered here?