‘IT IS MORE BLESSED TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE’ – MAKE YOUR NETWORKING EXPERIENCE ABOUT OTHERS AND WATCH YOUR STRESS LEVELS DECREASE

The very mention of the word ‘networking’ strikes fear into the hearts of many a jobseeker. It conjures up images of an old boy’s network, a packed room filled with confident, professional people chatting amiably and authoritatively, and you standing in the wings with pounding heart and sweating palms, too afraid to join in.

How do I know all this? Simple – because we are all the same. Whilst it might seem as though some people are born to networking or public speaking or the performing arts, nothing could be further from the truth. Some of the best public speakers in the world admit that their first few experiences were terrifying, but time and practice helped them to overcome their fears.

The first thing to understand then, when you attend your first networking event, is that everyone in the room has been through, or is still going through, the same set of feelings. Not enough? Then I’ll be blunt – FEAR CANNOT KILL YOU. If it cannot kill you, and you potentially have so much to give and to gain from the networking experience, then what is the worst that can happen? No, seriously. What is the worst that can happen? You might blush, or your hands or your voice might tremble, but hey, big deal. We have all been there and we have all come through it, simply by gritting our teeth and diving right in at the deep end. What is the alternative? Are you going to walk out of the door without so much as a ‘pleased to meet you’?

The second thing to really consider, and I cannot stress how important this is, is that everyone is there for the same purpose – to build professional relationships. Whilst, in the midst of your fear, it is difficult to focus on anything other than how you can possibly find the courage to walk up and introduce yourself to these strangers, never ever lose sight of the fact that they want to meet you too. You might be just the contact that they have dreamed of meeting, the one who can offer precisely the opportunity that they have been seeking. The question is not, ‘Why would they want to talk to me?’ but, ‘Why wouldn’t they?’ If all eyes appear to be trained on you as soon as you walk through the door, it is not because you are a stranger in any negative sense. In fact quite the reverse - you could be the answer to somebody’s prayers.

There is all sorts of advice for overcoming the fear of giving presentations in the business world, tips such as imagining that your audience is stark naked, but the one that sticks in my mind most and has been of the greatest help, is simply remembering that your audience is there because they want to learn something. Whether you realize it or not, you are an expert worth speaking to. Not only are you an expert on yourself and the contacts that you may have to offer, but your experiences within your career field are unique to you. The people who make up your audience are not handcuffed to their seats. They have not been frog-marched in at gunpoint. They are there of their own free will because you have information that they want. That might sound over-simplified, but if you really take it on board, it works, and can equally be applied to networking.

You will probably have spotted that in thinking about overcoming your networking fears, all of the focus has been on what you can give to other people. The reason for this is that good networking is based on the principle of building ‘real’ professional relationships, and not on what you can get out of others. If you walk into a room thinking about ‘selling’ yourself to achieve your own ends, you will feel like a cold-caller who is likely to be shunned and your anxiety levels will hit the roof. If you walk into that same room with an attitude of ‘what can I do for you?’, you will not only find it easier to relax into the situation, but are more likely to benefit from the mutuality of the relationship. By approaching the networking situation as a giver, rather than a taker, all else will automatically fall into place.